My Man Jeeves

The Project Gutenberg EBook of My Man Jeeves, by P. G. Wodehouse This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org Title: My Man Jeeves Author: P. G. Wodehouse Posting Date: February 18, 2012 [EBook #8164] Release Date: May, 2005 [This file was first posted on June 24, 2003] Last updated: August 30, 2016 Language: English *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MY MAN JEEVES *** Produced by Suzanne L. Shell, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team MY MAN JEEVES BY P. G. WODEHOUSE 1919 CONTENTS LEAVE IT TO JEEVES JEEVES AND THE UNBIDDEN GUEST JEEVES AND THE HARD-BOILED EGG ABSENT TREATMENT HELPING FREDDIE RALLYING ROUND OLD GEORGE DOING CLARENCE A BIT OF GOOD THE AUNT AND THE SLUGGARD LEAVE IT TO JEEVES Jeeves--my man, you know--is really a most extraordinary chap. So capable. Honestly, I shouldn't know what to do without him. On broader lines he's like those chappies who sit peering sadly over the marble battlements at the Pennsylvania Station in the place marked "Inquiries." You know the Johnnies I mean. You go up to them and say: "When's the next train for Melonsquashville, Tennessee?" and they reply, without stopping to think, "Two-forty-three, track ten, change at San Francisco." And they're right every time. Well, Jeeves gives you just the same impression of omniscience. As an instance of what I mean, I remember meeting Monty Byng in Bond Street one morning, looking the last word in a grey check suit, and I felt I should never be happy till I had one like it. I dug the address of the tailors out of him, and had them working on the thing inside the hour. "Jeeves," I said that evening. "I'm getting a check suit like that one of Mr. Byng's." "Injudicious, sir," he said firmly. "It will not become you." "What absolute rot! It's the soundest thing I've struck for years." "Unsuitable for you, sir." Well, the long and the short of it was that the confounded thing came home, and I put it on, and when I caught sight of myself in the glass I nearly swooned. Jeeves was perfectly right. I looked a cross between a music-hall comedian and a cheap bookie. Yet Monty had looked fine in absolutely the same stuff. These things are just Life's mysteries, and that's all there is to it. But it isn't only that Jeeves's judgment about clothes is infallible, though, of course, that's really the main thing. The man knows everything. There was the matter of that tip on the "Lincolnshire." I forget now how I got it, but it had the aspect of being the real, red-hot tabasco. "Jeeves," I said, for I'm fond of the man, and like to do him a good turn when I can, "if you want to make a bit of money have something on Wonderchild for the 'Lincolnshire.'" He shook his head. "I'd rather not, sir."